Cupcakes and Cupid...

Love it or hate it, there is no avoiding February 14th. Cupid and his arrow are fast approaching, floating on a cloud of glittering red rose petals and champagne flutes, striking blind panic into the supposedly fluttering hearts of many as they try to decide between bottles of perfume that smell exactly the same, and dread in to those of others, who spend the whole day dodging couples, too engrossed in gazing in to each other’s eyes to notice those trying to share the pavement.  It is the one day that red roses have devoted their whole lives to, the night that suddenly inspires chefs all over the land to scribble ‘chocolate sharing plate’ on the Valentines set menu, AGAIN, and most worryingly, the time that sees scores of unsuspecting, panic-stricken boys, carrying the entirely unpractical and even more ugly teddy bear in ‘I LOVE YOU’ screaming t-shirt straight to the till. Much to the woe of many an on looking girlfriend...

And then there are those, a group that, this year in particular, I definitely fall in to, that just don’t really get it. Those who you are more likely to find in Topshop than Hallmarks, who don’t quite understand why on this day in February they are coerced into buying heart shaped chocolates, or to cook something in a red, also heart shaped, casserole dish. Not that I am unromantic, but this year, as has been the case for the past few busy Valetines, life has meant that the 14^th doesn’t really have the same appeal. With a boyfriend who will be spending his Valentines climbing up ropes and navigating around fields as he gets a few steps closer to becoming an Officer in the Royal Artillery, Valentines will undoubtedly pass me by.

So while I am not exactly going to be queuing up in Tescos with a copy of Chainsaw Massacre and a large bottle of wine this year, I think it is pretty obvious  that cupid is still a few steps behind Father Christmas in my books. Cards I can deal with, I never say no to flowers, but one step into Clintons, one glimpse of a fluffy puppy holding a heart and I may as well just get the ready meal for one and be done with it. Not that I don’t like my boyfriend, he’s pretty good. And, ever the Soldier, he doesn’t really do fluffy teddies...

But there is no point in trying to avoid it, whether you are filling your bedroom with enough rose petals to make even opening the door a struggle, or stocking up on cheap bottles of wine, blood-thirsty thrillers and reconnecting with your old friends Ben and Jerry, there is just no escaping the oncoming storm of hearts and flowers. And unless you have a nuclear bunker handy, you may as well get on with it; resistance is futile, regardless of how your Facebook relationship status reads.

But, although to be honest I am beginning to realise it may simply be that I have a phobia of cuddly toys, and the fact that I cannot escape my notion that Cupid should be sprinkling the romance dust all year round, I am starting to talk myself round. It is nice to have an excuse after all, and as long as Mr Clinton is in no way involved, why not? Even if it just a chance to make these deliciously romantic cupcakes...

Delicately scented with pink grapefruit (which emerged from the fridge around the same time as the disappearing bottle of beer...) fragrant rosewater, and topped with a zingy cream cheese icing, these definitely show the love. Even if that love is headed straight off the cooling rack and smack-bang-wallop, down in one, in to your own mouth. Why the hell not, ‘tis the season after all; they are pink aren’t they?

Pink Grapefruit and Rosewater Cupcakes.

110g unsalted butter, softened

225g golden caster sugar

2 large eggs

150g self raising flour, sifted

125g plain flour, sifted

90ml milk

1 ^1/2 tbsp fresh pink grapefruit juice

2 tbsp rose water

1tbsp sour cream or natural yoghurt

Grated zest 1 grapefruit

For the icing:

175g cream cheese

125g butter, softened

450g icing sugar, sifted

2 tbsp rose water

Few drops red food colouring

 Preheat the oven to 160^oc. Fill a muffin tin with 12 cupcake cases.

In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugar with an electric mixer until pale and fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time and beat until just combined.

Combine the 2 flours in a large bowl, and the milk, juice, rosewater and yoghurt in a jug. Add half of the flours to the butter mixture, followed by half the wet ingredients, beat well and repeat until all combined. Stir in the grapefruit zest.

Spoon the mixture into the cases, about two-thirds full and bake for 25 minutes or until risen, golden and a skewer comes out clean.

Leave in tins for about 10 minutes to cool, before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

To make the icing; beat together the butter and cream cheese, before adding the rose water. Add the sifted icing sugar a little at a time and beat until smooth and thick (adding a little more icing sugar if needed.) Beat in the food colouring until you have a soft pink.

When the cupcakes are cool, ice, decorate with a rose petal and a shake of icing sugar and present to your lover!

Let Them Eat Carrot Cake...

January. It is the dirtiest of all words used to portion our year. The month of dreary tasks; battling with inside out umbrellas as you run through freezing puddles for the bus, hoovering up pine needles that are still appearing long after the tree has fallen out of favour, finding space for the never-ending supply of Christmas bubble bath, drinking smoothies that resemble the results of a pond-dipping session but that are oh-so good for your wearisome post-Christmas bod, attempting to squeeze on a fifth jumper...

But, for me at least, January is also the month in which I allow myself to brush off the greyness with a little bit of well-earned indulgence. Well, it’s a good excuse anyway. Call it comfort eating, call it adding to your winter coat (I try to steer clear of the word blubber..) call it whatever you can muster through a big mouthful of shepherd’s pie or sticky toffee pudding; we all need something to take our minds off the sub-zero temperatures and freezing fog. Because, blimey, January would be dull without something to get our faces in to as we sit, wearing two full outfits at the same time (including hats and gloves) totally immersed in the latest crap on telly (I am indeed talking about Splash, a show made only marginally more bearable by a shirtless Tom Daley) and, as I seem to be at all times lately, absolutely starving.

It is for this reason that my darling mother and I can often be found roaming the kitchen of a January evening, staring blankly into the fridge, unsure of what we are hoping will jump out and straight into our open mouths. A little more fur and a couple fewer opposable thumbs and a David Attenborough commentary would not sound at all out of place as we open the cupboard, close it, open it again, pouncing desperately on anything to satisfy our perpetual hunger...Unfortunately, more often than not, we stumble across cake long before we reach the healthy heights of celery or anything even vaguely good for you; but hey-ho, bang goes the diet, who was I kidding anyway?

I, personally, blame my irrepressible appetite at this time of year on Christmas, the time during which we train ourselves, as though it is an Olympic event straight out of London 2012, to eat at any opportunity that happens to present itself. I mean do we really need turkey sandwiches and sausage rolls just a couple of hours after the most ridiculous sized roast dinner the world has ever seen? Of course we do, it’s Christmas; but January is not just for post-mince pie detoxing, so I for one will be throwing cake, shotput style, into my hungry mouth. 

And what better than Carrot Cake; rich, spicy, bursting with fruit and nuts, it is the sort of cake that these cold, grey (snowy) evenings are calling out for. This recipe is a bit of a mash-up of everything I have ever liked in the the many slices of cake shovelled into my mouth during my long, committed (and obviously very stressful) research for this post. It is sort of a carrot cake remix; with pieces of crushed pineapple giving bursts of sweetness and the essence of a Passion Cake, orange cream cheese icing, walnuts, and as many sunflower and pumpkin seeds as I can possibly cram in, reminding me slightly of one of those fat balls you hang in the garden to feed the birds, just rather more tasty.

I usually have a few decoration ideas up my sleeve, depending on my mood and the occasion; creamy, orange scented icing scattered with jet black poppy seeds or neon strands of orange zest. This time, as I had a few free hours (the joy of a snow day...) and the bountiful supply of coloured icing I found lurking in the cupboard, I made some adorable fondant carrots which, apart from looking just wonderful, make sure nobody is under any illusion as to what is hiding within the cake. Just roll a small ball of orange icing into a pointed sausage-type shape, score slightly with a cocktail stick, before attaching their green tops. So cute, exactly the right amount of tacky and it tastes even better than it looks...Maybe you can even get away with saying it is one of your five a day?

Carrot Cake

225g self raising flour

200g golden caster sugar

2tsp baking powder

1tsp bicarbonate of soda

2 tsp ground cinnamon

1tsp ground ginger

1tsp mixed spice

1/2tsp ground nutmeg

200ml sunflower oil

4 eggs

1 tin pineapple chunks, drained

1 handful wanuts

2 handfuls grated carrot

1 handful sunflower seeds

2 handfuls pumpkin seeds

Pinch of salt

Cream cheese icing

200g full-fat cream cheese

100g butter, softened

325g icing sugar

Zest of 1 orange

Preheat the oven to 180^oc. 

Grease and line an 8 inch loose-bottomed cake tin. 

In a large bowl, sift all of the dry ingredients together. In a separate bowl, crush the pineapple chunks and walnuts with the end of a rolling pin until sufficiently smashed (I like small chunks but feel free to have larger pieces if you fancy more of a crunch.)

In a jug, whisk together the oil and eggs before stirring into the dry ingredients until well combined. Add the finely grated carrot and pineapple mixture, as well as the seeds and fold until all of the ingredients are fully incorporated.

Pour into the cake tins, level and bake in the preheated oven until evenly risen and golden, about 50-60 minutes, or until a skewer inserted into the centre of the cake comes out clean.

Leave the cake to cool on a wire rack and start on the icing.

Using an electric whisk, beat together the butter and cream cheese, before gradually adding the sifted icing sugar. When the icing is thick but not too stiff, beat in the orange zest and chill until your cakes are properly cooled.

Sandwich the cakes together before artistically spreading the top with the icing. Decorate as you please and enjoy! I definitely will...