As you may have noticed from this post, I seem to have fallen seriously out of love with
Valentine’s Day of late. Yup, call Relate, book a last minute romantic weekend
to Paris, maybe even buy a puppy; Cupid and I are on a slippery slope to
divorce, one lonesome 14th of February at a time.
And if a Valentine's spent watching Loose Women and eating chocolates still hanging around from Christmas are what I have to get used to now that my boyfriend is leading a busy (and far away) life as an Artillery Officer, then I am well and truly getting the practice in. As couples all over the land cuddled
up with a bottle of wine or tried to hold hands over candlelit tables for two without
setting their sleeves alight; I was in a cold village hall, surrounded by
middle aged women in jogging bottoms, trying to stop myself from falling asleep
as I rolled about on the floor pretending to do Pilates. And the romance did
not stop there; my Mother and I followed our evening of deep breathing and cat
stretches with a candlelit fish pie at the pub, encircled by heart shaped
napkins and still wearing our trainers and tracksuits.
And, to be honest, aside from the fact that I actually own a
tracksuit (and wore it in public), I don’t really see too much wrong with that.
Without a boyfriend in the vicinity to lavish me with flowers, chocolates,
champagne and anything else expensive (which he obviously would have done...)
there is just not really much point. Eating a few of these cupcakes to celebrate is fine, even opening the card that you
know is from your Mum but still pretending you have a secret admirer is kind of
acceptable; but without someone else sitting on the opposite side of the table,
candlelit dinners should really be saved for power cuts.
But it is not all doom and gloom on the romance front; the
celebrations were just pushed to the weekend, avoiding the tables scattered
with rose petals and dodging the meal deals just perfectly. And the gifts have
followed my somewhat unromantic outlook. Continuing the practical theme that
led to my boyfriend buying me a Satnav for Christmas, I went for a gift that I
am absolutely, 110% sure will not end up hidden under the bed or attracting
moths in the wardrobe (like the seemingly miniature shirt I accidentally bought
him for Christmas..) Yup, this year, avoiding anything covered in glitter or
rose petals, I presented my boyfriend of 4 and a half years, with 4 pork pies.
Homemade of course, and based on some pretty solid reasoning.
It is fair to say
that my boyfriend has rather a penchant for these little pies, particularly
those from motorway service stations, and has been known to eat six, one after
the other, over the course of one car journey. So, based on cold, hard fact, I
know that this present will go down a lot better than the miniature shirt. Maybe it was romantic after all?
To be frank though, I hate those plastic wrapped, lurid pink
centered, slimy jelly filled parcels that I so often have to wade through to
find the seat of R’s car. The almost neon, plasticky meat gives me the
heeby-jeebies, and as much as I adore the pastry, it’s not really the done
thing to buy a pork pie and eat around the pork. But these little gems, stuffed
with real, local, Dingley Dell pork from the brilliant butcher round the
corner, flavoured with sage, smoky bacon and sweet, juicy apricots, have well
and truly won me over.
One of the biggest surprises resulting from this gift idea,
was how easy pork pies actually are to make, proving my Great British Bake Off
based pre-conceptions almost entirely wrong. The hot water pastry, made with
melted lard and hot water, requires a quick hand and a little bit of
organisation, but if you have a muffin tin, these will not prove too much of a
disaster. And even if they do not look altogether picture perfect when you put
them in the oven, as the juices ooze out from the beautiful pieces of pork (no
bright pink plastic here) they will come out looking deliciously rustic and
wonderfully homemade. And I really do mean that in a good way...
PS. Three of these were eaten within an hour of opening the
box- I told you they would go down
well...
Apricot, Sage and
Bacon Pork Pies.
Filling:
400g pork shoulder, diced into small pieces
125g streaky bacon, diced
Handful of dried apricots, diced
1 tbsp fresh sage,
chopped
½ tsp allspice
¼ tsp nutmeg
Salt and pepper
Pastry:
450g strong white flour
Large pinch of salt
50ml milk
150g lard (chopped into small pieces)
Beaten egg, to glaze
To finish
100ml hot chicken stock
1 gelatine leaf
Preheat the oven to 180oc
To make the filling, mix the pork shoulder (chopped into
small pieces,) bacon, apricots, sage and spices. Season well and test by frying
a small piece of the mixture in a hot pan and tasting.
Now make the pastry. In a large bowl, mix the dry
ingredients. Heat the milk and 50ml of water in a small saucepan and add the
lard.
Heat gently until all of the fat has melted, before bringing
just to the boil.
Pour the hot mixture onto the flour and mix using a wooden
spoon. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and (if cool enough to handle)
knead slightly.
Now it is essential to work quickly, before the pastry gets
cold and cracks. Take two thirds of the dough and separate into 8 pieces.
Put each piece into a hole of muffin tin. Using your thumb,
work the pastry up the sides of the tin, leaving about ½ a centimetre overlapping
the edge of each hole. When you have a thin pastry case, make absolutely sure
that you have no holes in the pastry- If you do the jelly will seep out and
make everything soggy later.
Divide the pork between the pastry cases. Now roll out the
remaining pastry for the lids. Cut into rounds (about 8cm in diameter) and
brush around their edges with the beaten egg.
Place on the pie, egg side down, before crimping the edges
together using a fork or your fingers.
Make a steam hole in the top of each pie, glaze with egg and
bake for 50 minutes, or until the pastry is golden and crisp.
Leave to cool in the tins, and make the jelly.
Soak the gelatine in cold water until soft. Squeeze out the
excess water, before whisking into the hot stock. Using the nozzle from a
piping bag, pour a small amount of the stock mixture through the hole in the
top of each pie. Leave to cool completely in the fridge, for at least a few
hours or overnight.
EAT!
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